10 July 2011

unpredictable

The worst part about deadlines is that they don't seem to be a problem until you realize that you only have 5 weeks to read 4 books (and annotate them!), 4 chapters of a textbook, and make 3 sculptures.
So I started to work on my first sculpture two days ago, and it is actually almost finished. I've made a box and a sphere. But it's going to become a building and an octopus. Just not yet. Today I bonded the two pots I made yesterday, and I put up all 4 walls of the building. Which is surprising because I was afraid they would be too weak (I only have 25 pounds of clay, so I wanted to conserve it). But lucky for me, they stayed up and all I have to do now is put a roof on it and decorate it. Of course.
But as I was thinking about it, my initial vision changed. I was going to have the octopus wrapping around the building, but I decided that it was also going to penetrate the building. And my original motivation for making the sculpture completely changed - from oppression to man vs. nature.
And that's what happens in life too. We have an idea, and we want everything to go as planned. But ideas are dynamic; they are always being shaped by new perspectives and new thoughts on a subject.
The problem is that sometimes we get so stuck on our vision of something that we don't want to change it at all, for fear of the unknown and for the sake of respect to the original idea. It's sort of a "that's not what I planned" thing. But in life, sometimes we think that we want something, and really we don't.

For example, every kid, including the one writing this blog, has ideas about what he or she wants when he or she grows up. When I was like 3, my favorite toy was this Fisher-Price plastic purple wrench from a plastic tool box. Now, it's probably my iPad or something of the sort. When I was in seventh grade my favorite car was a Lamborghini. Now it's a Smart car (the little ones from Europe that are really adorable). When I was around 6 my favorite bands were NSYNC and Backstreet Boys, perhaps even Britney Spears and Aaron Carter. Now it's more like Jack Johnson, John Mayer, Ingrid Michaelson, and the like. When I was 3 (a lot of my stories begin like this) I almost drowned and I decided - I vowed - that I would never go to the bottom step of the pool steps until I was 16. I'm 16 now, and I'm on a swim team. And I have been for 3 years. I swim in oceans, pools, and rivers. I jump off of cliffs too, as you found out from the post I updated.
The thing is, sometimes things change, and we can't try to stop things from changing. We just have to go with it. Life is unpredictable, and we can't try to make sense of it.

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