08 August 2011

a pat on the back

Today my dad gave me a list of things from all of the colleges I plan on applying to and all of the things I need to write - essay type things. And so I started to think about what I was going to write for them. Because obviously I can't just sit down and write something amazing on the spot.
Some of the short answer ones, like the 250-word ones, are sort of like pageant questions. "If you had the chance, what would you do?" "Write about a global issue that's important to you." "Why do you feel like you belong here?" Things of the sort.
But one of them was a really good one. "What's something you've created that you're proud of?"
It sounds like a hard question actually, because first you have to think of all the things you've created, then you have to evaluate the good ones and the bad ones. So I started thinking of art things I have made. Then I thought of my bracelets and stationery. But I think the one I would pick would be my blog.
First, I'm proud that I actually kept up with it for so long. When I first thought about doing a yearlong consecutive blog, I was afraid I would let it fall by the wayside and I would say, a month down the road, hey, remember that blog? Oh well. But I stayed with it, and really if you want to do something, you need to make it your world. Or at least a good part of it. Because once it falls outside your peripheral vision, it's gone. And you need to keep the important things close to you.
Also, I'm glad that everyday I delivered something - even if it was sad, like yesterday. And I do it everyday. I don't take a break on vacation - as you can see. I would blog when I had my friend sleepover, I would blog in a hotel room at 1am, I would blog on a plane. And I'm always thinking about it.
And what I realize is that this blog isn't really about happiness all the time. It's about finding something. And you can't find anything without a little hard work and sometimes disappointment. There are always going to be problems, even when you are achieving your dream. It's hard to think like that, but it;s true. And everyday, even if I had things to do, I wrote something. Other than when the Wifi was malfunctioning and the Costa Rica blogs. Don't worry I will not forget about them! They're still on the periphery!
This blog is more about life, and living a great one, one that leaves you feeling better on the inside, even if getting there is difficult and maybe not so happy.
I'm also proud that a lot of the things in here are things I discovered myself. Things that I experienced and grew from. It's the difference between living in the front seat and living in the backseat. Driving your car or letting someone drive for you (let me clarify that this is figurative, I'm still not operating automobiles).
So my blog might not be perfect. But who likes perfect anyway? I like what I do, and I hope you do too. Because I've not only created this blog, but I've gotten to go on a journey that departed from my original vision and has spiraled and flew in so many directions. And I like it.

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